"You are special..." [Part III]duminică, ianuarie 10, 2010
A few days passed since I've talked to him for the very first time. I remember perfectly that Friday night that I spent with him. I went to sleep at 4AM and I could hardly let him go.
What had happened that night? What did we do? Nothing, we just talked. And that's all. But he charmed me. Saturday I waited for him to sign in again, to talk again. I thought that I would die because of his missing. I've consoled myself with some music.
He hasn't signed that evening.
Another day has passed. Sunday. I waited again. But this time he signed. We joked. We laughed. We talked. About us, about fantasies, about situations. About life.
The hours passed quickly. Days passed in which I was always thinking of him. I've covered myself with other things trying to forget about him even for a few minutes. We've talked a little the following weekend. And the following weekend after the other one. Since then, however, we hadn't talked anymore.
I felt that I would break in two pieces if I won't talk to him soon. I was looking around me and saw things, people that made me relate them immediately to him. Dani, Cluj, missing.
I cried about his missing, but I could not tell him. I sent him some messages to which I didn't get a reply. Messages that were not connected to us. There were wishes for Christmas and New Year. Still ... I was listening to music and crying. Not because I was mat at him, but because I was missing him.
I continued to hope that we will talk sometime soon. I wondered why he disappeared so suddenly. We didn't have a fight. Which part of "You're special" has been lost on the way?
In the early days of the year I got some replies from him on Youtube. He said he received my messages. I never asked why he did't answer, but why we weren't talking like in the beginning. He said he was busy.
I agreed to think so, although I slowly became more convinced that what I said in the beginning was turning now into reality ...
"Rather than complimenting me and forget me, you'd better not do it ..."
To be continued...
Trecurã câteva zile de când vorbisem cu el prima datã. Tin minte perfect ca noaptea de Vineri mi-am petrecut-o alaturi de el. M-am culcat la 4 abia putându-mã desprinde de el.
Ce se întâmplase în acea searã? Ce fãcusem? Nimic, decat vorbisem. Si atât. Dar el mã fermecase. Sâmbãtã am asteptat ca el sã intre din nou; sã vorbim iar. Am crezut cã mã voi topi de dor. M-am consolat cu muzicã.
Nu a intrat.
Mai trecu o zi. Duminicã. L-am asteptat din nou. De data aceasta însã a intrat. Am glumit. Am râs. Am vorbit. Despre noi, despre fantezii, despre situatii. Despre vieti.
Orele trecurã repede. Trecurã zile în care mã gândeam permanent la el. Mã acoperisem în alte lucruri încercând sã uit putin de el. Mai vorbirãm putin weekendul ce urmã. Si weekend-ul urmãtor celui care urmã.Vorbeam din ce in ce mai putin. De atunci însã putine am mai auzit de la el...
Putine, desi simteam cã mã voi desprinde în douã de nu voi vorbi cu el curând. Vedeam în jurul meu lucruri, persoane si fãceam imediat legatura cu el. Dani, Cluj, dor.
Am plâns de dorul lui, dar nu i-am mai putut spune. I-am trimis mesaje, la care nu am primit rãspuns. Mesaje ce nu aveau legãtura cu noi. Erau urãri de bine de Crãciun si Anul Nou. Si totusi... Ascultam muzicã si plângeam. Nu de supãrare, ci de dor.
Am continuat sã sper cã vom mai vorbi. M-am întrebat de ce a dispãrut asa deodatã. Nici mãcar nu ne certasem. Oare ce parte din "Esti special" se pierduse pe drum?
În primele zile ale anului am prins câteva mesaje pe Youtube de la el. Mi-a spus cã a primit mesajele. Nu l-am întrebat de ce nu mi-a rãspuns, ci de ce nu mai vorbim ca altãdatã. Mi-a zis cã este ocupat.
Am acceptat sã cred asta, desi încet-încet deveneam tot mai convins de faptul cã ce spusesem la început avea sã devinã realitate...
"Decât sã îmi faci complimente si apoi sã ma uiti, mai bine nu o face..."
"Paint your own Life and Live in your own world."