Take your laughs with you

sâmbătă, februarie 13, 2010

English
Yeah, I can't believe myself what I'm gonna post next either, but I hope you'll like it :P

Why is there a ghost in each castle in Scotland?
Because they're way cheaper than an alarm system.

--

A Welshman goes to a classic music concert with his wife and child. They are told that if their child will be screamin' then they'll have to leave the room. Of course, their money will be returned.
Just a few minutes before the show was going to end, the Welshman asks his wife:
"When it is going to end?"
"Just a few more minutes"
"Perfect, then make him cry"

--

A popular novelist receives a letter from a Welsh fan:
"I so liked your last book that I nearly bought it!"

--

A Welsh's son enrolled in the Army sends his father a letter:
"I've met a beautiful girl, and I wanna marry her, send me 2 pounds so I can take a photo with both of us. So you can see her too."
A few days later, his father sends him 1 pound along with the following letter:
"Send me a photo of her, I already know you."

--

Q:How do you call a dog with no legs?
A:You don't. It won't come anyway.

--

Q:What's white, and it's 30 centimeters long?
A:Nothing. Everybody knows that if it's 30 cm long, then it's black.



Românã

Da, nici mie nu îmi vine sã cred ce voi posta în continuare, dar sper sã vã placã :D.

De ce în Scoţia în fiecare castel se află câte o stafie?
Este mult mai ieftină decât un sistem de alarmă.

--

Un scoţian împreună cu soţia şi copilaşul merg la un concert de muzică clasică. Plasatoarea îi spune:
- Dacă cumva copilaşul zbiară, trebuie să părăsiţi sala. Bineînţeles banii pentru bilete îi veţi primi înapoi...
Către sfîrşitul concertului, scoţianul i se adresează soţiei:
- Mai e mult?
- Cîteva minute doar...
- Bine, atunci smuceşte-l un pic pe junior.

--

Un romancier la modă primeşte următoarele rânduri de la un admirator scoţian:
"Ultima dv.. carte mi-a plăcut atît de mult, încat eram gata-gata s-o cumpăr!"

--

Fiul unui scoţian, aflat în armată, îi scrie tatălui său:
"Am cunoscut o fată frumoasă, vreau să mă însor cu ea, trimite-mi două lire ca să-mi fac o fotografie cu ea, să ţi-o trimit ca să ştii şi tu cum arată".
La câteva zile, tatăl îi trimite o liră, cu următoarea scrisoare:
"Trimite-mi poza fetei, pe tine te cunosc".

--

Cum se cheamã un caine farã picioare?
Explicatie: Nu se cheama, oricum nu vine.

--

Ce-i alba si are 30 cm ?
Explicatie: Nimic. Toata lumea stie cã, dacã are 30 cm , este neagrã!

~Rob
"Paint your own Life and Live in your own world."

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13 comments

  1. Wonderful, I just can't stop from laughing =)))))))
    "how do you call a dog with no legs...." Oh, my God =)))))

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  2. Q:What's white, and it's 30 centimeters long?
    A:Nothing. Everybody knows that if it's 30 cm long, then it's black.

    =))=)=))=))

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  3. Q:What's white, and it's 30 centimeters long?
    A:Nothing. Everybody knows that if it's 30 cm long, then it's black.

    all i can say is lmfao

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  4. I took the liberty to give you a huge comment from ahajokes.com


    ***Fifty fun things to do during an exam***
    You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. ( Is that so ?)

    1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

    2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

    3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

    4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

    5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

    6. Bring cheerleaders.

    7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

    8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.

    9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

    10. Bring pets.

    11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

    12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

    13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

    14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

    15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

    16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

    17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

    18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

    19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

    20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

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  5. 21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

    22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).

    23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

    24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

    25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

    26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

    27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

    28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

    29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

    30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

    31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

    32. Bring a water pistol with you.

    33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

    34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

    35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

    36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

    37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

    38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

    39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

    40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

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  6. 1. One word: Wrestlemania.

    42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

    43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

    44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

    45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

    46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

    47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

    48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

    49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

    50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"


    Luni avem la bacalaureat proba orala la romana.

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  7. Huuuuge father of a comment, that's for sure! Interesting stuff. XD We are way too dorks to do that anyway XD

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  8. Se vede ciudat. Nu pot sa citesc primele cuvinte din stanga...

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  9. M-am speriat :). Daca oricand sesizezi ceva nu ezita sa ma contactezi...

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  10. Laugh and the world will laugh with you! Laugh hysterically for no apparent reason and the world will leave you alone! :D Out of my own experience I can say it really works!

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Arhivă

Ce e AGK?

Am pornit AGK pe cînd aveam 15-16 ani. A trecut ceva timp de atunci și mă tot frămînt pentru că nu mă mai consider un Kiddo. Îmi plăcea enorm să scriu pe atunci. Acum mi se pare că orice aș spune au spus și alții deja, că nu transmit nimic nou. Știu că există alți adolescenți LBGT out there care habar nu au unde să înceapă să citească, să se informeze, care nu știu cu ce se mănîncă toată chestia asta, care nu au curajul încă să admită lor înșiși că sunt gay, darămite să se pregătească de coming out. Iar Another Gay Kiddo ar trebui, poate, să fie locul în care să înceapă să facă fix acest lucru. Viziunea mea de 2 ani încoace e ca AGK să fie un loc în care adolescenții să găsească răspunsuri și opinii.