English
I still can’t say if „Love makes jokes” TV show I saw last night has shocked me or not. The truth is that for a while I am thinking of coming out of this crowded closet and even if I do know that this kind of reactions do exist, the show has really punched me hard in the face.

I’d like to talk with you about this mom’s reactions: „I do not agree”
”Honey, I can’t talk about things I do not agree on”
I am thinking with fear that this dialogue could be said by my mom or my dad when I’mma tell them. If I won’t even be heard and If I won’t even have the chance to discuss it with them, how do I expect to be understood and accepted? I can understand that is was a shock for that mother...

„All my life I have had bad luck” – I was like what the...? Well, maybe she is right, but I do not agree on this „right” because this “bad luck” is just the luck you want to see in this situation. If we hadn’t the moral rights and stereotypes that still exist there would be no “bad luck”, in my humble opinion. I think that is us who is doing bad things to ourselves.

I like that she admits that here it isn’t seen as a good thing, but I return saying that whose fault is for this? Isn’t it because of people’s mentality that refuses to change?

English
I’m writing this post for kiddos that will probably read it and will be in the same situation as I am.

I’d really like to share with you a quote of my friend that describes my childhood thoughts back then and the conclusions I’ve ended up learning in adolescence.

“Once believing that a soul mate and finding true love comes only once in a lifetime, after many years of healing and mental growth… the reality smacked me hard in the face!!! After giving up on the search and becoming content with the path of being single, fate intervened and pushed James and I across each others path, not once but many times over a single month. Giving in to what seemed inevitable; my half-filled heart quickly became full…”

When we’re young we often have this feeling that we’ll never love the way we did before. It sucks to find out that we’re so wrong, I know, but it is the truth. I live this right now. It’s the way we think. You give your everything and wish the relationship will go well, and when it ends you think there will be never the same. Bullshit. What the fuck is love? Do we know to feel it and live it the same at different ages? Personally, I don’t think so.

English

\

I've promised myself that I won't be sad
when you'll be gone.
I've told myself I won't care
when you'll forget me.
I've decided to forget you
when you'll hurt me.
And that I won't cry when
your love will vanish.
Now, you're far away from here.
I don't think you still love me,
I don't think we'll ever see again,
Neither that I'll be able to forget you.

/

How is it possible to get when you don't wish for it?
How can you demand when you don't dare to ask?
How do you wanna learn when you're not making mistakes?

\

I don't have you, but I wish I had.
I don't demand you, cause I don't dare to.
I still won't learn, but I keep mistaking.

/

When I'll tell you that I love you?
I wish I could talk to you only once more
Just once to see you again
And If I could - your love -
make it be mine.

\

English
I really need love. Lots of love. Last week I've cried. I kept looking at a picture and cried for a few minutes... cause I miss him. A lot. Memories. Awesome memories of him.

The moment when he asked me to be his boyfriend, the first days when we talked, tons of text messages, the jokes, the 3-stepped laugh. Moments of determination, the evening I've told him I like him.
The webcam dance, the first time we talked at the telephone, the first time I've told him he has a sexy voice. The first time I've seen his sleepy face.
That sexy as hell fringe... his cute beauty spots.
The hard moments I was close to him and the Thursdays he was close to me. Beat-oven's perversions.

All these things might sound like unknown to you, but they are known to us.

English
So they say the summer holiday has just began. Yeah right. Well, it didn't... I've found myself a summer job, and I'm telling you this just so I have an excuse for the long pauses between posts. So please don't kill me :D

Do you know the little things that make you smile? I think I've wrote about them in some other post but I'm too lazy to search for it right now. There are really a few times when I've named my posts based on my content... You must have already figured it out by now if you read me often.
These days music gives me energy, it makes me smile. Other things that make me smile: the fact that my friends remind of me, the fact that I see cute, attractive boys and men on the streets. I don't know why but they make me smile, it's weird.

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