If I'd have been straightmiercuri, decembrie 30, 2009
A funny yet difficult question that came into my mind yesterday evening was "What if I was straight?".
Funny. I've been asking myself many questions, but never tried to answer this one.
Can I ever be straight? That's a No. Can I be bisexual? I don't know. It's funny. I feel like talking to someone, but it's just me. Me, myself and I. And my laptop. It knows me perfectly. It knows what I'm watching, what I'm listening, who am I talking to, how do I look, how do I write. I think I owe my laptop big time. It knows the most of me. Anyway, being straight seems like a funny challenge for me.
If I would've been straight:
1.I would like interesting girls, those who have something to say, not very handsome, but pretty smart.
2.I'd probably swear all the time like every other guy does...and look after girl's bums.
3.I'd probably never think of how sad some people are from time to time. And I'd probably not care about them at all. I'd probably be a selfish guy.
4.I wouldn't care so much of my appearance and look. I don't know, but it's important to me. I really don't know if this attention for my appearance is because I'm gay, even if I tend to think it's not, but... if girls don't like me... then how would boys do? xD
5.I'd have probably never written the poems I do right now, neither the story I am trying to continue.
6.My life would have probably been normal. Why be normal? Be different.
I am not saying I am not normal. Just that society labels me as not being normal. So... why having a boring life, be different (notice the sarcasm, people). I am sure sooner or later someone will see this and say: You can choose to be straight.
Maybe. But you don't know how it feels. It's easy to say it, harder to act accordingly, because it's not something I've chosen.
Oh yeah, just before I end this post, I would like to say that if I was straight... I'd have probably never discover how many true friends I have. Like Budi, Simo, Anca, Sid, Joshua, Kevin, Lauren, Oliver and so many more. And I'd like to thank them for being close to me even after they've found out I'm gay.
O întrebare amuzantã, desi dificilã mi-a venit ieri în minte. Dacã as fi straight?
Amuzant. Mi-am pus singur multe întrebãri, dar niciodatã nu am încercat sã rãspund la asta.
As putea fi straight? Nu. Dar bisexual? Se poate, însã nu stiu. E amuzant. Mã simt de parcã as vrobi cu cineva, dar sunt doar eu. Doar eu si laptopul meu care mã cunoaste perfect. Stie ce ascult, ce vizionez, cum arat, cum scriu. A fi straight mi se pare o încercare foarte grea.
Daca as fi fost straight:
1.Mi-ar plãcea fetele interesante, acelea care ar avea ce sã zicã, nu super drãgute, dar drãgute si istete.
2.Probabil cã nu as înjura tot timpul ca ceilalti bãieti...
3.Probabil nu m-as gândi cât de tristã e lumea. Si poate cã nu mi-ar pãsa la fel de mult si poate cã as fi egoist.
4.Poate nu mi-ar pãsa asa de mult de cum arat. Este important pentru mine, nu stiu de ce. Nu stiu daca e pentru ca sunt gay sau altceva... dar daca fetele nu mã plac, atunci cum m-ar placea baietii?
5.Nu as fi scris poeziile pe care le am acum si nici povestea pe care încerc sã o continui acum.
6.Viata mea ar fi fost normala. De ce sa fie normala? Trebuie sa fie diferita!
Nu spun cã nu sunt normal. Doar cã asa suntem etichetati de societate. Deeeci... de ce sã ai o viata plictisitoare? Fii diferit (sarcasm). Sunt sigur cã va fi o datã când cineva va vedea asta si va zice Poti alege sã fii straight!
Poate. Dar nu stie cum e sã simti astfel. E usor sã o spui, mai greu sã te comporti astfel, pentru cã nu eu am ales asta.
Si inainte de a incheia acest articol, nu as fi descoperit cati prieteni adevarati am. Ca Budi, Simo, Anca, Sid, Joshua, Kevin, Lauren, Oliver si multi altii. Si pentru asta as vrea sa le multumesc ca mi-au fost aproape chiar si dupa ce au aflat cã sunt gay.
"Paint your own Life and Live in your own world."